Dear Diary
by Immortal Cavechick
Summary: House and the rest of his crew have to go to this new writing class and are given topics... THAT YOU CHOSE! HAHAHAHAHA! BETWEEN YOU AND THEIR NEW CRAZY TEACHER YOU CAN RULE THE WORLD! if you really dont like out of character dont read this!
1. Doom I Tell You! Doom!

I feel the need… the need to write! Yeah…. DON'T LOOK AT ME IN THAT TONE OF VOICE! Well, Cavechick has been grounded for reasons she can remember so she had time to think about new stories (your cue to gasp). Woot!

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House tiptoed out of the elevator and toward his office. Okay not so much of a tiptoe as much as a hobble but you get the point. He had heard that Cuddy wanted to talk to him and the rest of his crew and the last time Cuddy wanted to talk to him he got Pixie Stix shoved up his nose and that was not pleasant. He opened his desk drawer and shuffled threw years and years of paper looking for his Game Boy.

"Damn, damn, and double damn!" He yelled at his desk unable to find his toy.

"House," Cuddy's voice came so suddenly that House hit his head on the open drawer. "Hurt?"

"Nope, this is how I wake up every morning… also the same way I get to sleep at night," he closed the drawer defeated.

"Well, I'm glad you're awake," Cuddy walked over to House's evil desk was. "The hospital has gotten money for new classes and-"

"POTTY BREAK!" House yelled and limped over to the door.

"Stop where you are, House, or I will fire you!" Cuddy yelled after him.

House stopped dead in his tracks and turned to face her, "Yes milady?"

"You, Wilson, Cameron, Chase, Foreman, Stacy and I are all going to this class," Cuddy said for the sake of the story 'cause the rest of the cast in unimportant.

House being unHouselike didn't ask why only they where going.

"Yeah, what kind of class is this going to be? The last time I went to a Lamaze class, well lets just say-"

"I don't want to hear it, House. The class has nothing to do with child birth!"

"I did always want to take one of those classes where you learned to strip."

Cuddy got a mental image of House in a leopard thong dancing on a bar table and she threw up in her mouth a little bit.

"NO! It's some sort of writing class to know more about your inner self. It starts at nine on every Saturday and if you are not there I will be cutting your pay."

With that Cuddy left a very angry looking House.

'When did I have to learn about my "inner self"? All I have to do is: eat, sleep, drink, and have sex and I'm good the rest of my life!' he thought.

House went back to his desk and saw right by his phone was his Game Boy. He looked at it and it seemed to look at him. Then he just picked it up and played without a second thought.

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Well, not a real good first chapter but this is where you (points) come in. At my classes they get topics everyday (every Saturday) and now you get to ask them all the things you ever wanted (rubs hands together) OH THE POWER YOU HOLD! MWHAHAHAHAHA! THE POWER! THE POWER! THE POWER! LOOK AT THE POWER! LOVE THE POWER! HOLD THE POWER! TASTE THE POWER! (licks power) mmmmm…. Tastes like kitty.


	2. The Ceiling Watcher

Hello people of the world and other places… I HAVE NEW SOCKS! Put that in your pipe and smoke it… hey! I didn't mean it! No pipe for you! Well, this is my second chapter… Woot!

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SATURDAY (cue evil dun dun duuuun music)

"Hello class!" a young woman with short brown hair and grey green eyes walked into the room. "I am Miss Stone and I am your teacher."

House rolled his eyes "I think we came to that conclusion when you walked threw the door," he pointed at her "HELLO I AM MISS STONE AND I AM YOUR TEACHER" pin that she had on her shirt.

"Okay class get out your pens and paper and write," she said sitting in her desk and leaning back in the chair, looking up at the plain white ceiling.

"Write what?" Chase piped up.

Miss Stone looked at the class and her eyes got wide like she didn't know they where there. "Ummm… write about yourselves your likes and dislikes." Then she went back to her ceiling watching.

They all looked at the "teacher" (finger quotations) for a few minutes before they got to work.

House's Diary: _I hate this room… but I do like how the chairs are… little clusters are put together in fours… Cuddy is in front of me… She is wearing one of her low cut shirts and I can see her boobies… OH MY GOD! SHE HAS A TATOO! OF ALL PEOPLE, LISA CUDDY HAS A TATOO! I think it is a fairy. It is on her left part of her chest… well if Cuddy was going to get anything I guess it would have to be something stupid and girly. I bet she got it to make her feel manly in an all man world… but only a fruit would have a fairy. (_A/N: Oh, come on! Gay people are the best… I have friends who are gay! ((charges House))) _It also has something written underneath it but I can't tell what it is… I shall make a mental note to check it out later._

Cuddy's Diary: _My name is Lisa Clare Cuddy. I am 46 years old and I have no life. I haven't had a boy friend in about two years and I have never been married. I spend too much time on my job and not enough time, as my nephew once told me, "parting it up". He even threatened to take me to a rave. That had to be the saddest day of my life. Then House goes and tells me that I haven't been a real doctor in ten years. Grrrrness on my life! (A/N: ahhhh! She took my word: grrrrness!) _

Wilson's Diary: _Julie threw me out of the house last night. Said that I was being selfish and that I don't pay enough attention to her. I wanted to watch TV more than I wanted to take her out to dinner. Come on! The game was on! Last quarter with twelve minutes left and it's tied. What is more exiting than that… maybe sex but I couldn't do that not knowing how the game ended! She will let me back in the house… right?_

Cameron's Diary: _Hello diary. I had a diary when I was eleven it was pink with roses printed in the pages. Ummmm… I don't know what really to write about me. Every one just thinks I'm pretty and they never ask how I really am. Know what I don't really want to talk right now. It's nine in the morning and I'm not a morning person. _

Foreman's Diary: (Not there. No reason why.)

Chase's Diary: (yawns) _Who picked a class that started this early? We do have lives and this is stupid. Who cares about this? I do not want a crazy ceiling watching lady looking at my "inner thoughts" as House put it when he told us we had to do this stupid thing. And look! Foreman's not even here! Ten bucks says he is sleeping in like a NORMAL person. Then House is on the other side of the room looking a Cuddy's breasts! That's low even for him. AND HE HAS THE MOUTH OPEN KIND OF STARE! No shame for him._

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Chapter over! I started this before my beautiful reviewers… reviewed. So next chapter will have your crazy crazyness. (does crazy crazyness dance) WOOT! Guess what? I got cheese cake for reviewers! Everybody likes cheese cake… but if ya don't then I got stick on tattoos! They have bunnies on them! (draws fake mustache on random bunny) Person with best review gets Mustache Bunny! (he has heat vision!)

Much luv,

Cavechickie


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